Emotional Abuse.. from the inside out. Okay so what's next. Aftermath of abuse at it's worse! What happens when you can't function in society. I was scared to death. Learn about the affects of abuse!

After the smoke clears, The physical abuse is gone. there is a small voice that says's You are not worthy! 

Growing up in utter dysfunction, having to live in a violent home. Then as an adult I chose to say 

enough was enough. I walked away from the only thing I ever knew as normal. Being hurt by the one 

that I thought loved me. Take a deep breath and start again. Two children and a world of hurt.

I remember looking out the window thinking where do we go from here? I knew I had to be strong, not

 strong in the sense of taking the abuse. I another way a way I had never known. Venturing into a new 

era. Alone with the world on my shoulders and two children on each arm. I knew that the cycle of 

violence that I helped perpetrate had to end. It was time to start something good for my family. Inside I 

was waging an unknown WAR. On the outside people would tell me I was courageous and heroic. 

However there was a little different voice inside one that would challenge others. You can call it verbal

 abuse, or emotional even, brain washed. All I know is I constantly fought myself to be better than the 

voice said. I could not function clearly in society, afraid to smile, heart broken. I only felt comfortable with 

my children in my arms. So I held on tight to them. Before we were under constant emotional 

surveillance. Unable to show emotion, we had to learn all over again. As I continued on the new path for 

our lives. We were beginning to heal. There was something inside that said it was always going to hurt. I

 felt it like a knife standing in the grocery line. It was just a friendly greeting "Hello" a voice would say. I 

could almost see myself climb within looking around afraid I would reply Hi. I asked myself why I was a 

pretty outgoing Girl before. Now I had become inward an detached from the outside. I asked my self

when did this happen to me. I felt like the mafia was following me. I was paranoid and scared. Enclosed

 by the four walls of an abuse shelter. My children and I alone in our new room. It was around 

Christmas, just days before. The kids were saying Mama does Santa know we moved? What angels 

they were. Of course he does! No one understood the battle inside. I decided that I was going to have 

to break the inner voice in order to begin with a full heart. It started small just a thought of how awesome

 my children thought I was. I would think on that all day. Then I began to test boundaries when someone

spoke to me I would speak back. and conscientiously say don't look around or be afraid. Was I afraid?

 Yes. Would I fall into the emotion NO. I realized that I didn't have to agree with it anymore. I realized that 

I was safe and I was going to continue a brand new life I couldn't take fear and anxiety where I was 

going! I started to go to church and the bible came alive to me. All of the words God spoke directly to

me. I Started to truly heal and gain understanding. I found Love like I had never knew.

I wrote this in hope that it could help someone who is in this place come out. Also for those who have no

 understanding of what it is like to be in this place. The pain carries long after the end. It is inappropriate 

for others to ridicule the abused as though they should snap out of it. They have to gain their own 

strength this takes patience and love.

Three things to consider before saying Good-bye

Is it time to say good bye? The man of your dreams has become A Nightmare! Three simple things to ask your self first!

Those things that were so cute before, aren't cute anymore. You used to lay in the bed all day and talk. Now not only aren't you talking but he is still in the bed and half the day is over! Yep not so cute huh? So what do you do at moments like this? Do you throw in the towel or stick it out.

Here are some good points to examine before you call the Game over....

1. Is this worth throwing away? Whether big or small when we are bothered by a pet peeve it can turn into a monster! So what is going on? If it sleeping all day ask yourself why? Maybe he or she is stressed or depressed. Flipping out wont help these situations only a good pick me up will help! So are you wanting to throw away what you have over stress, or depression? If so your significant other probably deserves some one who will put in the work..

2. Ask yourself really do you care anymore? Endless words, with no meaning, usually mean some where communication lines got crossed or lost. Whether you or him. Buckle in it maybe a bumpy ride with some things you may not want to hear. Let him or her open up and tell you where they feel the issues lye. However this has to be a two way street so you must be allowed to talk as well. note: arguing in this time will only cause more damage so give each other the chance to say there heart.

3. Can I see them with someone else? Particularly in this culture, where there is comparison around ever door. If you decide to walk away will you be OK with them moving on? Don't be the one who says Oh no I made a mistake. If it is worth it stay if not get out!

You only get one life. This is meant for daters not married couples! If you decided to marry them you have already made a commitment so remember why you married them and work together to get passed it. Lastly real relationships only work if two are working in them otherwise it is not a relationship~

Carolyn Curry

How to Portray and Display Confidence

Wow the people around you. Change your world

 just by carring your self with confidence.

How can you cause the Atmosphere  to change when you enter a room. Yes your confidence.

How to portray confidence... Well you have to begin to look at things this way. Others see you the way you portray yourself so if you enter a room knowing that you are well put together, mentally, physically, and socially. Then you will pull the people to you.

Body language - What do your body language say about you..

Standing with your shoulders inward says you are holding back,afraid others wont accept you.

Indirect eye contact, when you look at someone do you look them in the eyes, or look down or out. Looking down say's that you are afraid that they are going to reject you. Looking out says you are simply not engaged.

Do you fidget? Moving your hands constantly, biting your lip, cracking your knuckles they are all nervous and yes annoying reactions that stop you from looking confident.

If you want to portray Confidence it is all mind over matter. Mentally prepare yourself, figure out what is causing you to look timid and tell yourself that you aren't going there!

Simply realizing it means you are one step closer. So now that you've done that put it to practice.

Here is one fact. You are completely capable of being confident. Another fact is this, no one else can do it for you.

I myself am a very confident person, not because I always feel like it. Simply because I believe that I have the ability to display confidence. Take control of your self by making decisive choices be able to know what you want is a confidence booster as well.

Do your homework. If you are buying a car you wanna know something about cars.

Of you are going to a prestigious party be dressed and aware of what you will be doing.

Even if you are unsure about what you want at dinner make the choice as if you knew all along.

If for some reason you say something stupid.... So what laugh with your friends co-workers, Being confident doesn't mean that you are always right or you never slip up. It simply means that you are able to believe in your self and trust who you are. If you are confident in yourself others will be too.

Direct eye contact says I can Handel this conversation head on, it also says you are worthy of my time and my eyes.

Standing straight up say's I am in control of my body and I am open for conversation.

Focus on what ever is at hand. handling the situations as they come or conversations as they come. Finish it out don't walk away unless the conversation is done it show that you are grounded and not flighty.

These are easy way to display confidence I am certain that if you are able to put these into practice you will notice a difference in the way interact... Others will too.

Evil has taken over the world. Will you fight for good?

We read about it everyday in the news. We see it in the eyes of the desperate.

Children killing children, parents killing children. There is evil lurking in the midst of us. Predator's pretending to be our friends. They want to take our possessions, molest our children, and steal our lives.They come in the form of family, distant friends with warm smiles, and even children with sadistic minds. When did this take place in society. Remember a day when a murder would shake the nation. I am well aware that it has taken place over and over in our country. What was once the unthinkable is now thew norm. What happened to the value of life. Just because someone is your enemy doesn't mean they have no value. They are someones, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Son, Friend. How do we protect ourselves and our family. I am not a mind reader, I can not pinpoint every criminal. Nor can I save every victim.

I know that prayer moves mountains. So I surely it pushes back the evil of this nation.

There are also things in this nation that have to change. Somewhere in time the freedom that God gave us as a blessing has turned into a ticket to sin. Almost a excuse for evil. Our government is proactive as republican's join together to come against democrats for their own mind not one of the nation. As we criticize our president about being a Muslim when he confesses Jesus, While we vote for a Jehovah's Witness. We have to see that a nation divided will not stand. Just as our value of the dollar dropped. So is the value of human kind. Us saints have to pray but the wicked are every where. It is going to take a shaking of this nation,, How much more evil will happen before we as a nation repent, and call on the only true God.

Carolyn Curry

How to Raise Children to be Sympathetic, Caring, and Ambitious

Raising Children is no walk in the park. It takes dedication and sacrifice! Are you willing to do what it takes?

Who doesn't want great well rounded kids. As parents we should. We want them to care about something bigger than them. RIGHT!

If we want caring kids it starts with you. Right at home in a parents character.. Are you up for the challenge?

Our children model what they see, however there are few children that will continue to be self centered even with good parenting. If you want compassionate children you must show compassion not just to them to the world around you. Show them less fortunate. If you are struggling show them someone worse off than you. Help someone in need. Give your last to promote a good cause. Do it genuinely without a question show them what it means to care for someone else. That covers compassion. Now expect they do the same. Give them allowance and make them give a percentage to a charity and tell them why. Continually explain to them how blessed they are and how good it is for them... Remember there is always someone less fortunate that needs what they have. Kiss their BO BO's, love them daily.

Sympathetic children are the same.. Here is an old rule you reap what you sow. Are you sympathetic with them? Do you show them that they matter. Listen I have a hypochondriac as a child she thinks her toe is broken if she stubs it. I still ask are you OK? Always reply I am sorry that happened to you. Please be careful. I don't want her to hurt. I also don't want her to be in self pity. Or play on pain. We have to be the great balancer here we are the parents.

Being sym·pa·thet·ic (s m p -th t k). adj. 1. Of, expressing, feeling, or resulting from sympathy: Mirroring sympathy comes through understanding. That is a whole new can of worms. Do we understand what are kids are going through. Here is a lesson: look at a situation through the eyes of your child. Things are a lot different when you are able to see into their world. Practice it especially when you are angry at choices that they have made. Not that they shouldn't live out they're consequence just that your heart tends to be in sync when you are able to relate through the eye's of a child. When you can show understanding not that it is right but that you can understand why it happened then you will gain the sympathy you are wanting them to display.

Ambitious children are brought up with plenty of building up. tell them how smart they are. Here is a tale not every one speaks of not every child is a straight A student but you find there bend and do what ever it takes to show them the talent they are blessed with. Every child has a bend it is the way they are made. My daughters is are she can make a fliers on word paint a beautiful pallet. She is great in that way but I have another that excels at school and another in music, I have six I can go on and on. Here is the real question what are you willing to give up for your child! Time money Miles I encourage you to support their bend what ever it is. When you teach them to seek out the thing that makes them who they are you will see Vibrant, Virtuous Children. My payers are that all of you reading this will be touched and practice this with your children. Watch them become wonderful Children..

Be Blessed,

C.C.

Entitlement... Who does it hurt? Are you helping or hurting?

Who's in charge?

Remember the terrible two's, Think of the terrible twenties. Does your child have entitlement issues. How can you help

So most parents experience the feeling of love inside for their children. It starts in the womb. We want them to have the best, be the best. Every day before they come we anticipate their arrival. Decorate their nursery line everything up. Then here they are, they cry and we do what ever it takes to make them happy. We buy them the coolest toys. If they come home from school with a sad face because Johnny has this, we move heaven and earth to give it to them.. We have began to serve our children in such a way, if they don't like the food we cook we fix them something special.

Lets think back.. Hum say two years old visualize your child on the ground throwing a fit. What do you do? This moment could make it or break it! What did you do? Let just say that you bought him / her the candy. You didn't wanna make a scene and it was just candy, right? Well I promise that soon enough it wont be candy. It will be the next big thing and you will give and give. It will never be enough. Before you know it you, you will have a big problem. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime partner, your child. When they are grown they will hang around, If they do leave and enter into another dysfunctional relationship they will expect someone to take care of them. When that's done guess what mom I'm home. So how long before that's over.... sometimes never. Here is an instance They do get a job they do little or a lot of work however they never feel they are treated fairly. They wan't more pay or they always got a reason why they should have more.

OK new flash America is the most child serving nation in the world. We give our kids everything and don't ask them for nothing. You don't think so well try calling the new I phone you just bought them. 15 minutes after they leave Did they answer? Some will some won't but here the real question. Why does your child have a 700.00 phone. LOL. I am not saying all this to blame everything on you.. However this is a learned behavior. It was tried and worked and you were the culprit. You have helped it along and you are enabling.. Whether they are 10 or 30 something has to be done.

Let me be a little more specific. I am not saying your child shouldn't have nice things. I am saying they must experience real consequences and must feel what it is like to work and earn something. So what can you do now. Well it's never to late to stop enabling them. If they are over 18 STOP! Time to grow up you need to tell them you won't do it anymore and stop.Tell them you can take them to work. They pay you Gas, and they save for a Car. Give them a time limit 6 months.

If they are young have them work for it give them a savings. There are all types of things they can do. This year my ten year old had two businesses one walking dogs, one raking leaves. Needless to say neither did very well but my heart brightened at the idea that she was willing to work hard to pay for half her I pod. So begin any where what ever will work for you. Paper boy, dog walker. Please don't have wake up at twenty and realize that the world won't hand them anything. The idea that you love them and will cause the rest of their life to be misinterpreted is saddening. Save yourself and them. Because that is who get's hurt.

Rainbow Gathering Hippie USA! What an adventure!

This is a story about one of the funniest creative trips of my lifetime.

My account of the Rainbow Gathering 2000. In Montana 

Hippie Town U.S.A.

As a young adult just 18 my best friend and I embarked on a journey. This is my story of hippie town U.S.A. Torn between what was in store in the future and what was already in the past I looked in the mirror and said you can do this. My partner in crime called she said are you ready? Of course I said, come on.

10 minutes later the car pulled up. I grabbed a couple of outfits and we were on the road. My best friend was a free-spirit much like myself. We were partial to flow where ever the wind would carry us. Her father was the driver. Bird was his name. He was in and out of her life much of her life. He was a carefree person who was in Cali and two weeks later liable to be in Florida I guess we just wanted an adventure, well we got one. I remember saying are there going to be chairs there.. My teenage perception was daunting as I imagined what it would be like. Traveling from West Virginia to Michigan. Before we got a flat. We pulled into a bootleg shop on the side of someones house. This was probably the first time I had felt afraid since we left. Sitting out side of this house I can still remember the way they looked at me. It was short lived they were finished and here we were on the road again.

While in Michigan we realized that we had it all wrong, the gathering wasn't in Michigan it was in Montana. We only had enough supplies to get to Michigan, so here we are my friend and I pan handling at truck stops asking for 20 bucks. Surprisingly the truckers helped us they gave money to us freely. We were on the road again. Making our way to the unknown. Ugh I thought we would never get there. Four days on the road, sleeping in the car, being pulled over in Iowa I thought it would never end. I was ready to see Montana.There it is the sign welcome to Montana. Wow it looked like something in a western. For real barns everywhere ew ew ewy ew woow woow woow. We were here. On the way Bird told us stories of previous gatherings. He told us to beware of A camp. It was the only place in the gathering where people drank alcohol. He said it is pretty rough. We pulled up and I saw that it was nothing like I expected. Beaverhead national Forrest . There were people everywhere. All walks of life. It was an experience of a lifetime. I took a deep breath as we walked through. Looking around everyone was happy and hugging. Which could have been great except a lot of people wore no deodorant. The girls didn't shave there's nothing like a voice say hello sister 6 inch pit hair and arms around you before you know it. As we walked from one end of he told us the run down of this things went. I looked around with a smile on my face. This was going to be great out in the open Forrest camping Almost. We decided to camp at Jehovah camp. Then it was on. We set up our tent and was off to see wonder unknown.We had adapted to our new names and introduced ourselves as Spirit and Star. The time was freeing and there were so many new people to meet. Everyone was wrapped in so much love.

The daily activity was fun you woke up with the sun shinning and a whole new adventure, there were camp to visit music to hear. One of my favorite things was the trading circle. It was amazing. You could trade almost anything.

Then of course there was the meal circle:Once a day everyone joined in a circle with there own utensils of course and was served what ever it was that day. I can tell you this the food was nothing like cooking on a stove a lot of time there was no meat involved. Lots of Garlic. If you were hungry at other times you could cook at your camp or go to others camps. However every thing was shared so nothing lasted to long. I did lose fifteen pounds in 2 weeks lol.

At night there was another scene the fire circle this was a little freaky for me. People would dance around the fire and play drums sing. Over all I love this adventure and those I met along the way.I found that it was once in a lifetime things for me.

While there my friend's Dad gave our car away and he was going on his way to Cali after the gathering. We hitch a ride with some other goer's back home. I guess that is when I decided it would be the last time for me. I wouldn't trade my time there for anything. It was a beautiful experience and the people were awesome.Montana.

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Don't be so full of yourself! ave you ever been or known someone that is conceited? How did they make you feel. This story tells us about conceit and where God stands on the matter.

Conceit one definition says excessive appreciation of one's own worth or virtue.

To begin lets go back! Yea to some of us, it my be pretty far back... Teen years; to some even middle school. Remember when we only cared about ourselves. When our opinions are the only ones that penetrated our minds. All else was cast off as an illusion. Nothing mattered then, until we realized that we were wrong and staying in this type of mind frame could hurt us more that help us. Yea that is when a lot of us snapped out of it.

Okay but here goes SOME of you can't remember when it ended and the reason why is because you still live there. Disillusioned in a place where only you matter. Maybe it is obvious! Or maybe you've been there so long that you live there. To others it may come in the form of pride, maybe you don't live in this place called conceit. However you visit there often. Valuing your own opinion above others. Or maybe looking at others as though they will never hit the mark.. Here is a news flash there is a few words for it that is called high mindedness, pride.

Please do not confuse this with confidence they are not the same. Society acts like it is OK for you to allow conceit to govern you and pull you to where you are. However the bible tells us that being conceited causes us enemies.

Galatians 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Upon further research the opposite of being conceited is being humble. So that tells me that Pride (conceit uncovered) is an opposition of God.

James 4:6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." So what happens to us when we walk around in conceit.

Maybe we get away with it for a while, some of our friends stick around. Sooner or later you will be pulling a blind fold over your own eyes. No one else is fooled. As a matter of fact no one likes your holier than thou attitude, Annoyed probably, not fooled. So as God is not on your team and he stares right in your eyes, as you try to figure out how you could possibly win... Let me remind you that the Creator is better that the creation always. I will also remind you that the God of heaven and earth wan'ts you to lay down that conceit. So he can give you humility.. How ever you that are conceited may continue to stay in that state, you will continue to be alone. Surrounded by people that don't like you, Or are just like you. As you continue to hit the wall over in life wondering why everyone is always offended by you. Why no one ever stays to long. I encourage you to mirror yourself and ask am I the reason why. Sometime we want to blame others, after history repeats itself so many times sooner or later we have to ask.

Is there some thing wrong with me? I leave you with this..Short poem

Look at me beauty is mine

listen to me wisdom you'll find

see me prancing never afraid

always right never delayed

See it doesn't matter what ever you say

I am high above you your disarray

Look at my wonder for all to see.

I don't need you or anybody!

Might I remind you that Satan also thought his self higher than God. Thus was thrown from the heavens! So I will repeat the scripture again!

James 4:6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." So what happens to us when we walk around in conceit.

What is Disaster Preparedness Planning?

Easy to say that we will prepare for disaster. What are you doing to ensure your families safety?

Disaster preparedness planning is creating a plan for disaster before it happens. Are you ready?

Some simple thing that you can do are...

Create a safe place to meet with family. Weather it's the Maple tree in the park or Aunt Ellen's house. If disaster comes you will need to find each other.Let's face it you may want to think that you will be together but the chances may be slim. You should also have a back up in case you aren't able to get to that place. Contact local agencies to see what the disaster plans and facilities are in place and choose from one of them as a back up. Remember waiting to do this is foolish and will not help in a disaster. Plan ahead or fall behind. The choice is yours!

OK well there are different types of disaster so let's name a few circumstances that involve like preparing...

Just in case your home is intact and you will still be there... Flood in some cases, storm, power outage, terror attack.

Food and water supply, basically there is one food that will stand the test of time.. Five years to seven years that is. Freeze dried food. It is not the best tasting however if you are hungry in an disaster it may taste like a five star restaurant. There are different sizes available at different locations. Amazon has many different sizes I will paste a link if interested on these. These should be stored in a clean dry place. They should never be eaten of used only in a disaster emergency.

Heaters: Kerosene, Wood would be the best simply because it is accessible what ever heater you can get is good. However electric may do you no good unless you have a generator.Blankets dry and warm will help in the midst of emergency.

Candles... You will need to see. Flashlights with batteries.

Here is the next set. War, Invasion by enemy

You will need the same as before however your home may not be available chances are you will have enough time to get to the house and get you supplies In case of this you will need another form of survival.

Tent or shelter for out doors, emergency food, water, heater, and weapons to protect yourself. Plenty of ammunition. Let's face it none of us want to look like crazy gun goers. However we have to protect our family at whatever cost. Always have a plan. Weather it is in a national Forrest You may have to go back to the wilderness day's killing food and living in the land. Will you prepare.

Finally if you are not able to gain access to your home find out ahead of time where the emergency place is for your community, State and a place outside of the area just in case.

Next are a list of different sites that can help with a plan. I encourage you to set down and make a plan that fits your family. Having a plan may be the only thing standing in your families survival!

All I'm asking for is a lil R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

All I'm asking for is a lil R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Let's face it some people are hard to live with! How do you get along with others? Or sever the ties with those who aren't healthy for you. Five basics that you can weigh out when you are tired of being nice. Learn how to live victoriously with others, While still keeping your respect!

Yes!! It would be easy if we never had to deal with others. Let's face it we can run from people but sooner or later we will have to interact and have relationship. How do we deal with others that are hard to stomach? Our spouses, children, friends, and co-workers will all fit the bill at some point. There are some key things to ponder before we slip them the tongue and say something we will regret.

1. We have to ask ourselves does this issue have anything to do with me?

See most of the time that others are lashing out and annoying us, the situation doesn't have anything to do with us. I learned this from my husband very early in our Marriage. He was a nit-picker. I am an optimistic. I see gold in everything and he see's rubble! LOL Realizing this and learning that him and I are very different. However we still carry the same goal. We want a successful Marriage. We came from different back grounds,we were raised different and we are a product of what we learned. However we can co-exist in a household with out a fight.Do we have arguments? Of course however our spouses are a mirror to our inner self. A lot of times we are mirroring exactly what it is that needs to change in them. The same for them to us. When we ask is this issue ours, his, or mine? we are able to really see what it is!

How about that Mother-In-Law! You know which one. She always has a plan for you to do what she wants. She always seems to know how, to raise your kids, cook your food, and please your husband.Yea she should have been born you.. What do we do... Ahh leave me alone! That's never going to happen.

2. So what we have to do is establish boundaries!

If we allow people to say what they want and act however they choose it could turn in to a very tragic situation. Boundaries are healthy, as a matter of fact unhealthiness lies in a relationship without boundaries. Now this will take some wisdom on your part. It will pay off. Depending on your temperament, you may have to put on your big girl panties. Not for confrontation but to say what is needed to establish the relationship However don't be under an illusion. Realize what is wrong with you and don't expect others to wrap you in bubble tape Set boundaries that help cultivate your relationship. You could say I realize that you have experience raising children. However these are my children, I appreciate your input, I intend to raise my children the way I choose. I would love for us to have a connection beyond how you feel I should do things. How is your day? Guess what that was ( mirror)

3. Cut off damaging relationships!

We all have had them co-dependent, abusive, emotionally detrimental. Listen you get one life the only one you can control is yours. Will you waste it letting someone treat you less than?You are not alone there are so many who are in complete disarray from some one else's problems. Take responsibility for your own actions. Refuse the the things that have nothing to do with you.Break away from what holds you down. If you are the one causing the pain (abuser) Stop it! Take a stand for yourself and say I can't do this anymore. If you are being abused contact local agencies for help exiting. Remember that you can't be rational with an abuser and the best thing is your safety. How ever you can tell someone who is always Debbie downer, look I have to many good things going on to continue to let you dump your misery on me. There has to be something good going on! I can't have this every day I am happy and you pushing your woes on me is depressing. I believe that you have had it bad, but you are responsible for making it right! So I will not allow you to dump on me... Tell me something good!Chances are that this is all you will have to say. These people will most likely look for someone else to dump on.

4. Be realistic about the relationships you have!

They will not always be great you will have to be a shoulder to cry on at some point. You may even need a shoulder. Don't think someone is supposed to take your advice and that it will all be better. There are times to give advice. Remember that most of the time when others are opening up it is to get it out. Do they really need your input? Or do you think it is so easy to solve their problems? Solve yours first! Only give advice if asked, other wise offer your self for emotional support. Don't be a list of statistics! Who wants to hear I told you so... It is your job to be a friend not a parrot.

5. Do you see yourself in any of these?

If so commit to being a better Friend, Spouse, Child, Co-worker! Remember you can't change others but you can change the way you feel about them. Most people are angry because they want people to suit them. Well that will never happen. Don't be one of them. Be someone that others want to be with.

I leave you with the Golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Don't let others walk all over you, realize who fits where, and live Victorious with others.

Carolyn Curry

This world needs a little self control!

How do you deal with the everyday hustle and bustle of others... It's called self-control. We can all benefit from it. Are you always upset with others. Chances are this is one article you want/need to Read!

We get so worked up over others. What they do, don't do. Who they are how they are. 

Really even though we won't admit it we are only upset because we expect that they should or would do something different . Our own perception is what causes us to go in deep offense. Why is it that we are driving around angry at the person in front of us is slow... Because we want every one to speed like us? How about looking into someone else's life and saying If I were them I would have done this. Well you are not them and if you were, you would've done what they did, because you are them. Look people lets control what we can. I can recall as a child seeing a psychiatrist because I deeply wanted my mother to leave a man she was dating. My father died and the guy she was dating violently hurt her. I was ready to do what ever I could to get her to leave.. I won't go into what I did lets just say it lead me to seek therapy. The lady spoke so clearly and said you can only control yourself and how you react to the situations in your life. I was 17 then and now I am thirty, I will say what piece of advice. I still follow this today! The bible teaches us to have patience and take a clear look at the plank in our eye first. How many get upset with the car in front instead of leaving 15 minutes early? We want people to fit us, but we don't want to have self control. How many times have you heard when they did this I just flipped out, I was so mad! Well who's fault is that. People love to blame others for every issue in their lives.. Come on people it is time to grow up! You can't control what others do. You are however responsible for your self control! It is just immaturity and pride that flare up, When we are not in tune with self-control. Pride will always SHOUT I can't believe they did that to me. I deserve better.A truly humble person with self- control can see a situation.. Assess it and determine the motive behind it with out losing self- control. Here is the test! The next time someone loses self-control in a situation, don't say anything, ponder the thought that even if you say what is right they can't receive it anyway! Ask the holy spirit to guide you in dealing with this person. You see as we continue to blame others for our lack of character... We are not able to grow. We stay the same as silly as it sound until we mirror and reflect what is inside us and deal souly with issue of ourselves we stay the same. No one can do it but you.. Do it now Grow Up! Choose to love others despite of their actions and choose to fix what is broken inside instead of asking others to come and mend the rough spots. even if we hold the hole for a while, what ever is in there will find a way out. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Clean it up.

Business Communication, Business Writing, and Public Speaking

Whether you are doing a dive in production or soaring the clouds with the birds. Every one needs a little clarity on a success in the business world. So strap on your thinking hat and go through these very intriguing topics to put your business at a higher level of success!

Running a business is hard work. well here is a check list when presenting your Business to the rest of the world. 

Remember First impression is huge. Don't come to work looking a mess, It will only cause your workers to dress down. Your more classier workers will look down on you. You are representing your business. (Look your best)

Funny story Jan work in a dental office. She showed up everyday at 7:00 am sharp. The doctor set her to be there at that time. However though he met her then the first week, now Jan would set in her car for at least 15 min before anyone showed to let her in. Sometime it would be the Doctor other times it would be younger staff. The office regularly opened at 8:00 am. There were appointments set then. After about a month Jan started noticing inconsistencies in the appointment times. She realized that some of her co-workers had set appointments around there own activities. Deciding that this was a issues she brought it up to the doctor. He basically replied I don't mind if the workers have to handle different errands. As long as they are doing their jobs while at work. Jan put her resignation and watched from a distance as the dental office drove itself in the ground. Lesson learned.

Be Professional, Accountable and Honest!

Being professional takes some self control and a well balanced policy's. There must be employee policies in your establishment. The guidelines must be clear and followed down to the Tee. If your policy states that the employee has a certain amount of sales to remain an employee stick with it. We all have a merciful heart, at least most. But hey if you can't make the cut you will be looking for employment . Rules are rules period. If you waver in small things you will in large as well.

Secondly if you are supposed to be in the office three days a week BE THERE! It looks good on you. No one want an evil dictator that rambles on and doesn't do there own work. You have a job to do also. Don't become obsessed either. Do not put unrealistic demands on others. If you have been at it for 15 years there is no way some one that just started could take your place.

Honesty If you business has his a bad spot call a meeting tell your employee's what is going on! However you need to have a plan before hand so you can tell them how you will get out of it. I encourage you to ask for their input and tell them what they are going to need to do individually and as a team.

Business Writings

Whether advertising or in office announcements be aware of the message that you are putting out there. What do your in house circulars saying about your business. What ever you are feeling when you write them will be the message projected.

Dear Employee's,

It has been brought to my attention that our policies need to be updated. When we originally started our business we had 30 employee's. Now we have grown to 50 and some of our policies are not as effective as they once were. If we are going to continue in a growing business things need to be changed. Meetings we'll be set up this week.

Thank you,

Management.

This is a good writing but the writing has a underlined meaning for one. It has been brought to my attention! OK! Has your attention not been on the business. How about wording it this way.

In evaluating our policies, I have came to the conclusion that new policies need to be in place. As we are a growing business there are going to be changes made every so often to bring us up to the new level of statistics for our business. This week you will be getting a memo, with an appointment. You will need to sign a new set of policies.

Thank you for your help in this growing Business,

Management

Can you see the difference?

Public Speaking

I am a professional public speaker, I have been trained in speaking to the public.

Here are some basic speaking guidelines that will help you..

Always engage your audience. They are watching you look at them from time to time. Search around don't look in the same spot.

Do not pose questions as though you want them to answer it causes confusion.

Draw your audience with something they can relate to: The Economy is taking a downfall. Most will relate with that.

Timely speak.... There is a time to stop speak in such a way that your team is involved mentally not waiting for it to end. Don't speak to long. They will not remember what you said only that you went on and on.

In conclusion this tips will help you have a healthy connected business. In this I hope you find some ways to implement the strategies discussed and I wish you a prosperous business in 2013. .